I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
