he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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