Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
