k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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