I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
