Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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