i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
