Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm passing your future prison.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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