Whod you bang
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
