its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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