I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
