I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
