you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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