I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
