Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
