What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
