You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize