I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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