im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
