Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
