playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
