I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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