You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You've changed since you got that strap on
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
