Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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