you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize