can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
