Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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