woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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