is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
