There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
