Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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