Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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