well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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