So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
