Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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