He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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