5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have fence marks all over my body
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
