I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I will be naked everywhere
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
