Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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