trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
