well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
