I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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