I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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