My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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