i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
