Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
