She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
