How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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