In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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