just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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