She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
