I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
