is your mom at the bar?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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