Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
