sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
