you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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