What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
