He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
