she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
