Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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