Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I will be naked everywhere
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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