i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
