question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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