therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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