There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
