3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
