its not stalking. its research.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
