don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
