nut hugger
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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