There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
