Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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