So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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